Gym Hack 101

It’s that time of the year in-between New Years resolutions and the build up to summer. Typically this is when gyms are quiet before the summer boom. But what if it was the behaviour of the “gym rat” members that create this quiet period instead of peoples New Years resolutions fizzling out?

Now this post is written in a slightly different tone from the normal articles/blog posts we write. I’ve worked in and been around gym environments for a number of years and I think I’ve got it licked when it comes to spotting ridiculous behaviour that is displayed within those magical four walls.


So without further a do; here are 18 new gym rules that would make everyones experience a little less painful.

If you notice that you qualify for one or more of these, then check yourself, before you wreck yourself. When heading to train over these next few days, keep your eyes peeled to see how many of these you can spot!


LDN Performance Commandments 

  1. No taking your shirt off! This is not a beach and no one wants to see you flexing in front of the mirror.
  2. Stringy vests- come on now, you may as well not wear a shirt; which as eluded to in rule number 1…. is not allowed!
  3. Men- if you’re wearing leggings/cycling shorts…… I have no problem with that, but put some shorts over the top! NO ONE wants to see that horror show!
  4. Shouting to your mate on the other side of the gym; “YEAH I’M GONNA COMPETE”, implying you’re preparing for a bodybuilding show. Shut up, no one cares.
  5. Grunting loudly- now this is acceptable when attempting to lift something heavy. And by heavy, I mean nearing your maximum. But doing this rep after rep, set after set, no no, behave yourself.
  6. Sitting on a piece of equipment on your phone- absolutely not. If you’re not using the piece of equipment, then get up, get out of the way and snapchat to your hearts content.
  7. Which leads me on to selfies… Okay fair enough, if you want to take them then do so, but move away from the equipment and most importantly do it with pride!!!!! Flex those guns, pull that ugly face, rip those calves, whatever…. but there’s nothing more embarrassing/awkward/funny than being caught trying to take a sneaky selfie.
  8. Before jumping in to use a bit of equipment, take a few seconds to survey the area. Could anyone have possibly been using this in part of a superset? Stop nicking my bench and dragging it to the other side of the gym!!!!!
  9. Equally, share the god damn equipment! I saw you on your phone for two full minutes in-between your last two sets. Me squeezing in a set in-between yours is not going to ruin your session.
  10. Dropping or more accurately ‘slamming’ weights deliberately to get attention- come on mate, it’s not big and it’s not clever.
  11. Which again leads me on to my next point; If you’re big enough to lift the weight, then put the blasted thing back where it belongs!
  12. Hogging 5 pairs of dumbbells because you’re doing a quadruple drop set at 6pm on a Monday- nice one!
  13. Making a song and dance and bragging brashly that you can deadlift 200kg… Just stop! Okay so you’re the strongest deadlifter in your gym, but what about other gyms locally? Remember there is always someone, somewhere that is warming up with your max weight! (See: Eddie Hall, Brian Shaw, Zydrunas Savickas, Thor Bjornsson, Ray Williams, Dan Green- just some of my favourite ass kickers)
  14. No Make Up! Ladies; stop caring about what your hair and face look like before walking out on to the gym floor. I am a believer that if you care so much about what you look like in the gym…. Then prepare to not be overly impressed with the results you see out of it. The make up bag should now be handed over along with your gym pass upon entry… to be collected at the end of your session.
  15. Equally, guys, stop doing your hair and worrying about what your new t shirt looks like. You’re here to train, not receive an award for your fashion sense.
  16. No moaning about the trophies ripping on your hand. Calluses are a sign of hard work and serious graft. They are earned! I understand some need presentable hands for their business, which is fair enough, but then hardcore weightlifting is possibly not for you (or find a decent set of padded gloves… *frown face emoji*).
  17. Your workout is not any more or any less important than anyone else’s! Whether they be male or female, beginner or experienced, black, white or anything in-between….. it doesn’t matter, everyone is there for a reason.
  18. And finally; squat racks are for bicep curls only………. NAAAAAT!


As you can see, this post is not quite as informative or ‘sciencey’ as some of the previous articles, but I’ve seen a lot of this behaviour recently and if reading this prevents one more person from taking their shirt off on the gym floor… then it’s a success!

These commandments I feel should be plastered on every gym wall to help “MAKE GYMS GREAT AGAIN!!!!”


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Yours in health.


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